my dagu mommy's ill again. landed in hospital 2days ago. continuous vomitting of some dark brown and black stuffs. heard it's gastro-intestinal bleeding or sth lidat. hate it. can i just hav a fair share of her illness and make her suffer less? she has been crying since a few weeks ago upon knowing that she has cancer. daddy was at China, so me, mommy, dagu mommy, jing kai and kyran went out to eat with her every night b4 her op. now she's recovered from it. but another illness is here. haii. when will she end her torture... ... seeing her lidat makes me wanna cry. when i went to TTSH just to fetch her from the hospital with mommy, she was like telling me and jingkai that "i wanna die but i cant. i duno what wil happen to mommy if i die". -tears- and then came the nurse, who took out the needle from her wrist. OH MY GOSH. u cant imagine how BIG that needle is. my dagu mommy, so so so afraid of pain, hav to bear with that irritatingly big and horrendous needle in her blood vessels for so many days. how is she going to take it. haii... yesyesyes,she's home now. but she's "discharged against advice" and has to go back to the hospital on monday, again, to face the stupid needles.
and yeah. my mommy's tired, terribly exhausted. morning she has to wake up at 530 to wake the 3 children of the house,then she fetches us to sch,followed by rushing to office to avoid being scolded by *sucks* and then rushes to the hospital during her lunch (skipping her meal) and back to office aft an hour or so. not hectic enough? she still has to fetch us back from school (although sometimes we go home ourselves) worry about our dinner. so she would go to TTSH to accompany my dagu mommy and then go to the nearest hawker centre to dabao some food for us and rush back home. again, she doesnt eat her dinner (do you consider a few mouthful of rice a meal?) so she could pei2 my dagu mommy for a longer time. ^my dagu mommy is afraid of loneliness^... ... haii. this is my mom's daily schedule from morning to evening. at night, she comes home, completely tired, but doesnt complain AT ALL. because if she complains to my daddy who understands nothing at all, they'd end up having an argument. yepps, and tt adds on to her stress. so she rather keep quiet about it.
mommy was saying that she has a bad bad bad bad bad bad bad backache this morning, but still insists on sending me to school because i woke up late and missed the bus12. hai. im a sucky daughter. i wanted to cry. mommy im sorry. i hope i made up to her by massaging her back awhile ago... ...
i hope my mommy stays strong. cuz once she's down, everyone will be. especially me. i fear for her. and she's getting old. health problems are starting to stick to her.
im worried... ...
and i cant get down to studying when my promo is a week away.
karyn's gg to be so dead.
... ... and the worst thing is U are not by my side anymore. it was my fault for hurting you, that you didn't have anithing to sae to me when i called last night. i'm sorry. yepps i'll try to study hard, like what you told me to. i guess u're leading a happy life w/o me by your side... no more quarrels, no more karyn being unreasonable, everything ended on 6sept'06, a day b4 our 3rdyranni. take care.
*winks* (does tt ring a bell?)
to those who have read till here: u al hav stamina sia.. =) sori for d long post anw... ...
