Wednesday, January 30
Monster Karyn misses Grandpa alot alot.
Got the news that Grandpa left on Tuesday night. I cried like mad-which was kind of like expected-and Mommy was like shocked by me cuz i cried so loud and long. I thought that i was gonna go blind. Rushed down to the hospital but didnt get to see Grandpa for the last time; I got the news when everything was almost settled at the hospital. HAiiii. Grandma, Dad, Uncle and Aunt cried until their eyes were super red and swollen. Me too. I just "WAAHHHHHHHH" when i reached the hospital. I know it's damn embarrassing but I just couldn't control my tears. That was the first time my tears misbehaved.
A day passed.
And I think I ain't that sad about it anymore. Uncle says that Grandpa is feeling better now, he's free from suffering already. Yeahh i agree, so I hope for the best for Grandpa. I kinda accepted the fact that Grandpa has passed away. But Grandma is quite affected by it. She has been crying non-stop and I seriously have no idea how to console her. If I were her, I'd have done the same. 50 years of love and companionship from Grandpa, and suddenly he's gone. Everyone says "that's life" so yah lor, just accept it. What can I do..
I always remember how Grandpa sits at the dining table when he was healthy. He would have this big bowl of rice in front of him, and he would start eating after he has prepared his "bin" for the fish bones. Grandpa loves to eat fish. Yeahh. And he always tells me "wong shi min, you must study hard, and go abroad to finish ur university like ur aunts did. don't have to worry about financial problems, Granpa will settle it for you". And I still remember the way that Grandpa drives me home from school everyday during my primary school days. He would drive very very slowly, and say that that's the safest way to drive; but actually I know he's just concerned about his Merz. And he would always give in to me when the naughty little me was super wilful. Like when I complained, "Grandpa! Why did you take so long to come? I was waiting for you until I almost died!" he would just smile and ignore. Haha, that's my Grandpa, who loves me and dotes on me alot alot. Haha, maybe because I'm his only granddaughter. But yeah, I'm very glad I have my Grandpa with me. I know he'll always be with me. Whenever I look into the coffin and see him, I dunno why, I have this feeling that Grandpa has never ever left. Creepy I know. But I love this feeling. I love the way that Grandpa assures me that he'll always be there. Grandpa's great. And he's strong, strong enough to fight the battle against cancer for years. If Grandpa is that strong, I should be strong too. Make myself stronger, to fight many more battles ahead in my life. I know I can do it.
Grandpa knows that I can too.
Grandpa, your granddaughter misses you.
She loves you and thanks you for all the love that you gave her in her life.
You'll always be remembered.
;
1/30/2008 04:08:00 PM
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